144759

Joke of the Day

"what do you think of the number 4? you mean like on a scale of 1 to 10? stolen from: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/31g6qc/i_am_a_don_hertzfeldt_filmmaker_ama/cq1dzn8"

"-Houston, do you copy? -Houston, do you copy? -God damn it, Houston! -God damn it, Houston!"

"How do sceptics introduce themselves? ""I don't believe we've met..."""

"God: Women will bleed for a week. Universe: What will men do for pleasure at that time? God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot."

"What do you say when your opponent resigns after you take their queen? Sorry mate."

"What's the most confusing day in Harlem?? Father's Day."

"Democratic debate is in Flint, Michigan ""Would you like some water Secretary??"""" ""No, not at all!"""

"Q.Why is a dog scared of a fire? A.It doesn't want to become a hot dog."

"My GF bragged about the cat sleeping next to her I told her ""Yes, he seems to be attracted to the overwhelming aroma of fish"""

"*Gets disqualified for biting opponent's ear on a chess tournament*"