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Joke of the Day

"I would tell you a good cheesy joke, But I lactase"

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"What's the difference between a blue 7 and a red 4? 3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: ""and YOU'RE the math guy!"" >_< Burned.)"
"I hate when people say Hitler did nothing wrong afterall he did commit suicide..."
"I had a racing snail, I thought it would be faster if I removed it's shell... It only made it more sluggish."
"A clean house is the sign of a broken computer."
"Once I came across a bridge that was half concrete and half covered in asphalt It was a real hybridge."
"Why was the cat scared of the tree? Because of its bark"
"Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer."
"When I am president, it will be legal to grab the waists of slow and distracted pedestrians on cell phones and race them along."
"ageism fascinates me because it's the only ism with this built-in inevitable irony. like, no racist gradually changes into a hispanic"