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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"What did the Mooslim say to the Nazi? Don't you hate it when a few bad apples make us all look bad?"

"Why doesn't Hitler play table tennis? Because he's dead."

"What does a Jedi say after a tragic loss of life? ""May my thoughts be with them""."

"Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting."

"Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape? A: Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!"

"My friend told me that he was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I bought him a snickers"

"Man didn't invent the wheel It invented itself after seeing Chuck Norris."

"What did the dumb Electrical Apprentice say to the journeyman? I conduit"

"A son Whale asks a father Whale ""Where did I come from?"" The father Whale replies ""From my penis"" The son Whale says ""Oh....thanks"" Father Whale says ""You're Whalecum"""