230355

Joke of the Day

"The last time I saw my friend Peter he was counting. ""75, 76, 77..."" he said, as he began to walk away. I don't know what he's up to now."

"Why are there no Walmarts in Syria? Because they're all targets"

"Why did the farmer use a steam roller? He wanted to grow mashed potatoes."

"I was raped by a group of mimes They did unspeakable things to me."

"I put the p in pants."

"Wow. Those Spaniards are some die hard Ozzy fans.. ..cause they really went off the rails on a crazy train."

"I'm going to run errands, need anything? ""Yes, some new light bulbs"" Why, our current bulbs are too heavy? ""And a good divorce lawyer"""

"If I'm ever captured as a spy, all they'd have to do to get me to talk is put my house slipper on the wrong foot."

"My downstairs neighbor was yelling and banging on the ceiling until 3 AM Did that bother you? Not much. I was up til about the same time practicing my trumpet."

"Why did the zombie cross the road? To get his guts back. My three year old made that one up, I though it was pretty good :)"