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Joke of the Day

"Man didn't invent the wheel It invented itself after seeing Chuck Norris."

"sorry i'm late, i have terrible time management skills and zero perception of distance as it pertains to speed of travel"

"It's rude to upstage the bride on her wedding day but that's exactly what's going to happen when I burst into flames as I enter the church."

"A frog jumped higher than a building... ...because buildings can't jump."

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup! Couldn't be sir. The cook used them all in the raisin bread."

"What did the triangle need to do before he could get a loan? He needed somebody to cosine."

"What's the difference between necrophilia and a pizza? Even if it is cold it's still good."

"Goldfish One day, baby goldfish went to ask him father : ""Dad, why do our memories only last for 3 seconds?"" ""What son?"" ""What?"""

"According to the white girl weather report, today will be ""suuuuper duper sunny"" with a high of ""ughhhh"" and a low of ""fuh-reezing!"""

"You know the difference between my birthday and a courtroom? My dad shows up at a courtroom."