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Joke of the Day

"A son Whale asks a father Whale ""Where did I come from?"" The father Whale replies ""From my penis"" The son Whale says ""Oh....thanks"" Father Whale says ""You're Whalecum"""

"The pen is mightier than the sword ...except in basically every real life battle scenario"

"""FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE"": BECAUSE YELLING, ""YOU SHOULD REALLY SIGNAL BEFORE YOU CHANGE LANES"" IS A TAD VERBOSE"

"They canceled school and reminded everyone to ""Prepare for a blackout"" I've got 2 bottles of Vodka and percocet Blackout is *so happening*"

"hate to brag but I can still fit in my Quinceanera dress"

"Someone asked me who do I prefer ""Chris Brown or Rihanna?"" Chris Brown beats Rihanna every time."

"The news from Australia yesterday was terrifying That poor Muslim guy, I'd hate to be trapped in a room full of Australians too."

"Someone once told me ""If you love something, set it free"". I told them not to mind about those noises coming from the basement."

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Just kidding. I don't know what he got. He hasn't opened it yet."

"What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Independence Day? The Fourth of Ghoul-ly!"