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Joke of the Day

"""Grandma, may i play with your tits?"" ""Sure, honey! Just don't run away too far!"""

"I was listening to a Lewis Grizzard tape the other day and I realized that r/jokes better call him up and ask for their jokes back."

"You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word."

"What's a Judge's favorite drink? Guil-tea!"

"Who was the best financier in the Bible? Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation."

"In the beginning ... God created the world, and rested. Then God created man, and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested."

"I'm still upset they never let me bunt in tball."

"What's the difference between my wife and a dead baby? I didn't kill the baby for not shutting the fuck up."

"I like my coffee like I like my Slaves... Free"

"From grandma: Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In memory of all the faces that were buried there."