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Joke of the Day

"Who was the best financier in the Bible? Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation."

"How does a Japanese chihuahua say hello? Konichihuahua"

"I didn't realize the dark backstory of some of these Disney characters. Like, Goofy is brain damaged from untreated syphilis."

"I won't believe corporations are people Until Texas executes one."

"ok, i'm calling bullshit on Ariel singing underwater"

"A joke I wrote in the style of Mitch Hedberg... I'm gonna change my name to 'marriage,' man. That way, all those girls out there can be saving themselves for *me*!"

"I wonder who they'll get to play the roles of ""Couch"" and ""Phone"" in the movie of my life."

"You know you're getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you."

"I finally understood handling printers. LOL"

"You know the best thing about having a penis? You get to share it with people who don't."