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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between my wife and a dead baby? I didn't kill the baby for not shutting the fuck up."

"Why are pirates, pirates ? CASUE THEY ARGHHHHHHH"

"364 days until Halloween and people already have their decorations up."

"Two aardvarks watched in amazement as a firework flashed across the sky. 1st aardvark: Wow! I wish I could fly like that. 2nd aardvark: You would if your tail was on fire."

"well technicaly my oficial title is ""head research scientist in the field of DNA sequencimg manipulation"" but u can call me ""gene hack man"""

"I'm surprised God doesn't make Christian Rock Bands sound better."

"You all know any good masturbation jokes? C'mon, I bet we can crank some out."

"I left my girlfriend because she wouldn't stop counting... I wonder what she's up to now."

"[trying not to think about Sonic The Hedgehog during sex] Her: faster! faster! Me: oh god no"

"I think Bernie would win for sure if he had served in the military and reached the rank of Colonel And he would be sure to get the black vote."