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Joke of the Day

"I was listening to a Lewis Grizzard tape the other day and I realized that r/jokes better call him up and ask for their jokes back."

"I'm not racist, but black people sure were nicer before the civil rights movement."

"While everyone is busy complaining about their tweets being stolen & put on Facebook, I've quietly become the funniest person on MySpace!"

"US Loretta Lynch confirms that all 7 FIFA officials dramatically threw themselves onto the ground faking injury when arrested earlier today."

"Him: So whattayou wanna do? Her: I dunno Him: So...You wanna play video games? Her: No! Him: So...You wanna watch me play video games?"

"People are like books. You can't judge them by the outside and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them."

"hey maybe ur parents care so much about ur birthday becuase it celebrates how long theyve been able to keep something alive for"

"Why did Jesus quit playing hockey? He kept getting nailed into the boards"

"Somebody Cadbury Cream egged our house last night. I'd be upset, but I've been too busy licking off the bricks."

"How did the baker put his opponent in checkmate? with an en croissant"