53539

Joke of the Day

"The only bright side to food poisoning is weighing yourself when it's over."

"Asked my grandfather if he had anything equivalent to Victoria's Secret when he was young He said ""No, we had morals."""

"How much does a circumcision doctor make? Probably just a tip"

"What do you call it when someone accidentally gives you a handjob? A stroke of luck."

"TIL It is common for staff and surgeons to laugh hysterically during separation surgery to conjoined twins. Well it is side-splitting."

"A man walks into a bar with Harambe Bartender: What can I get you ? Harambe: I'll have a beer. Man: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice? Man: Yes, justice for Harambe."

"There was a black out last night. Don't worry, we got him."

"Congratulations to Steve Jobs for being cancer free for 1 year!"

"How many fuck boys does it take to change a light bulb? None, cause its already lit as fuck fam."

"After 9 months and 347 pics of you being pregnant you REALLY only need to post one pic of the baby as proof. We believe you."