111045

Joke of the Day

"How much does a circumcision doctor make? Probably just a tip"

"A single text to my mom is like pulling that loose thread on a sweater."

"I'm not a mechanic so I don't know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people."

"What do you call a woman with an opinion? Wrong"

"I've been saying I'll sleep when I'm dead for so long, I'm starting to really look forward to dying."

"Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila."

"check if your cocaine is good, mix in vinegar. If it makes a volcano, its baking soda. If not, your drugs is ruined. Drugs are always bad."

"How do you make a cat go ""woof""? Douse it with petrol and toss a lit match. WOOF!"

"What do snakes take for their sniffles? Antihissssstamines!"

"Baby, give me that couch.. .. cause I need some sectional healing!"