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Joke of the Day

"I wasn't going to get a brain transplant... But then I changed my mind."

"Tried to type hustlin', iPhone corrected to hustling'. I don't need to see the casing to know that I've got the white iPhone."

"Where was Bill Clinton during his presidency? He was right between the Bushes."

"The other day I went to the zoo All I saw was a dog. It was a shitzu"

"Me: it's robocop Wife: it's not robocop it's dangerous *a roomba with a gun taped to it is shooting at our cat*"

"In life, as in sex, my personal preference has always been to ignore the asshole"

"What do you call a midget with Down Syndrome? you call him a little slow"

"My dog's frightened to walk across shiny floors and won't eat dog food unless I heat it up. I have a feeling he'd be a flop out in nature."

"Ignorance may be bliss, but knowing that you're smarter than somebody feels pretty good, too."

"News is reporting a nun just had a baby. It's official, a nun is getting more action than me."