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Joke of the Day

"I have an awful lot of shampoo and conditioner for a single bald dude"

"When do cops blow up and destroy shopping centers and Walmarts? During Black Friday."

"The vet told me ""I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to put your dog down."" ""Oh God!"" I said. ""WHY?!"" ""Because my arms are getting tired."""

"Every ghost story ever I walked into my house, and fell asleep. It was then, 3 hours later, I woke up and realized... I don't have a house"

"therapist: im glad u overcame ur fear of snakes and all but- me, with a snake: ur gonna say i shouldn't have married this snake aren't u"

"I'm not sure what my three-year-old needs more, naps or an exorcism."

"Couple beside me in restaurant are on a blind date; they both love dogs, sushi, and looking at Tinder while the other one is in the restroom."

"You and my mother are the only women in my life! Said the redneck."

"Girl are you a gorilla enclosure Because I want to throw a kid in you."

"A man walks into a bar... Ouch...."