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Joke of the Day

"I'm still confused as to why I was arrested for stabbing the starbucks barista in the face when she didn't know what a large coffee was."

"I started a band call 999 megabytes We haven't got a gig yet."

"Me: ""I mean, how can Harry Potter be the best Quidditch Seeker when he's the only one with glasses?"" Librarian: ""Just pay your fine, Ma'am."""

"99 little bugs in the code... 99 bugs in the code. Fix one bug, compile it down. 167 little bugs in the code....sigh."

"Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but it's not necessary to show it off."

"Hang up weed instead of mistletoe, then every time you stand under it you can have a snack."

"Bill Cosby used to be my rolemodel... Until i found out he was a comedian."

"How do lesbians celebrate special occasions? They eat out."

"A Chinese funeral parlor opened in my town. It's called ""Can you Bereave It"""

"I don't get why people are allowed to say ""Damn straight"" But I get in trouble when i say ""Damn gays""."