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Joke of the Day

"Hang up weed instead of mistletoe, then every time you stand under it you can have a snack."

"If there was ever a great name for a male only massage parlor it would be: The Massaganist."

"My brother forgot his apple today. Until he was rear-ended by a doctor."

"I didn't know that numbers were Irish until I started telling time."

"My friend told me I didn't ""understand"" irony. But then he got a flat tire. Oh, the sweet irony."

"I've always wanted to be a plumber But it's probably just a pipe dream."

"What do you call a punch that can kill 20 kids and 6 adults? A Sandy Hook."

"My girlfriend said she liked surprises. But you should have seen her face when I told her I have chlamydia."

"I like my women like I like my golf scores, in the 80's with a slight handicap."

"Tell the dude at Starbucks your name is Poison Coffee, and when he calls your name, fall out of your chair onto the floor."