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Joke of the Day

"Bill Cosby used to be my rolemodel... Until i found out he was a comedian."

"Get out, RUN! That DM was coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE"

"""Your resume says you've been to prison?"" Me: Sorry, that's a mistake ""So you haven't?"" Me: I have, I just didn't mean to put it on there"

"Two cannibals are eating a clown... One stops and asks the other, ""Does this taste funny?"""

"Some choices are easier than others: An emergency doctor's appt vs a much needed hair appt. At least if I die my hair will be cute."

"Arguing with a woman is a lot like reading a license agreement By the end, you ignore everything and just click ""agree""."

"Why did the alligator wear a vest? He was an investigator!"

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Blurgblurgblurg"

"I had a dark bump on my arm checked out at my ontologist... I tried to get a diagnosis but instead he went on about reality and existence."

"I saw some nudity on TV last night... I just sat there shaking my fist. I was furious."