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Joke of the Day

"INTERVIEWER: what's your greatest strength? ME: shape shifting INTERVIEWER: is that so? INTERVIEWER: yes INTERVIEWER: holy shit"

"Boko Haram have really had a radical change in direction since their Whiter Shade of Pale days"

"Hey morons, when in doubt, just spell it ""theiyr're."""

"Hillbillies are getting restless. Neighbor kid is dancing around a burn barrel listening to Whitesnake & wearing a Batman mask"

"What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? Wife."

"Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan? Because there is a target on every corner."

"Security frantically searching my pockets not realizing I'm stealing the trench coat"

"I ignore politics because politicians clearly ignore me."

"Good friends are hard to find. Especially if they stabbed me in the back. In fact you won't find them officer. Stop looking"

"Parts of a worm: 1) Worm"