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Joke of the Day

"Guy says, ""damn, there should be a law against having sex this good!"" The girl said nothing, for the drugs had left her unconscious."

"What did the sun god say in apology for all he had done wrong? ""I Apollogize""."

"muffin man I was talking to the muffin man he looked kinda sad so I said something wrong? He said, no muffin's wrong"

"Alright. It's Sunday. Another Breaking Bad. Or if you don't watch the show, an hour of confusing tweets."

"The most attractive thing about you is your gravity."

"Why do married men hang strobe lights from their bedroom ceilings? To create the optical illusion that their wives are moving during sex."

"What's an Impressionist's favorite condiment? Manet's."

"Which of the seven dwarfs use the Internet? Happ-e Sleep-e Grump-e Dope-e and Sneez-e."

"How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring"

"Every time I try to pick up chicks a description of my car ends up on the news."