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Joke of the Day

"Every time I try to pick up chicks a description of my car ends up on the news."

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"[A giraffe walks into a scarf shop] *The managers eyes turn into dollar signs*"
"How many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb? Sorry, your Quest to whore karma is currently unavailable. Please try again later."
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"""Cash or Debit?"" ""Did you just assume my tender?!"""
"the hottest girl u can think of has had diarrhea. kinda puts everything into perspective."
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"How many girlfriend does a white boy need to shoot a school? None."
"I was flipping through the channels.... and my wife asked was on the TV. I said ""dust"" And that's how the fight started."
"What is the worst part about screwing a 7 year old kid? Getting the blood stains out of your clown costume."