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Joke of the Day

"I got my wisdom teeth out solely to make a cute viral video of what I said coming out of anaesthesia, but I used the N-word too many times."

"Fencing proves that with enough rules even a sword fight can be boring as hell."

"Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a good chat. Unrelated, there are 1273 Cheerios left in this box."

"What do you call somebody with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."

"Today I tried to remove a bandage I couldn't pull it off"

"iPhone chargers are like arguments with a woman some days you have 1, some days you have 5"

"Why are Skeleton's so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin."

"What fish only swims at night ? A starfish !"

"Trying to think of a good chemistry pun But all the good ones argon"

"I buy my own f*cking lemons because you know what? life doesn't hand anyone anything for free."