79429

Joke of the Day

"Which of the seven dwarfs use the Internet? Happ-e Sleep-e Grump-e Dope-e and Sneez-e."

"What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks."

"Scary Halloween Joke **Person 1:** Knock knock! **Person 2:** Who's there? **Person 1:** A GHOST!!!"

"DNA doesn't make you a parent. Stepping on a lego guy on your way to the bathroom at 3 am does"

"People who talk to themselves are more intelligent then those who don't. Well that's what I like to tell myself anyway."

"My mom bought a new vacuum, she says it really sucks."

"I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I'm down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall."

"Q: Why did Thoreau build a house? A: Because he wanted to be walled-in."

"My daughter, a hair stylist, has a tiny pair of scissors tattooed behind her ear with tiny red teardrops for clients she accidently stabbed."

"Who would win a fight between an octopus and a shark? The octopus because it is well armed."