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Joke of the Day

"Why do married men hang strobe lights from their bedroom ceilings? To create the optical illusion that their wives are moving during sex."

"What do a Bernie Sanders supporter, a Cross-Fitter, and a person with Herpes have in common? They all ""Feel The Burn!"""

"I bought some vinyl cleaner, just for the record."

"What did one candle say to the other Will you go out with me tonight?"

"I just burned 1200 calories! I forgot about the batch of cinnamon rolls in the oven!"

"What is the best thing to take when you're run over? The number of the car that hit you."

"I'll bet the first ever drive thru window resulted in an incredible amount of broken glass."

"Which article of clothing is the most ghetto? A Hoodie."

"My ex was just diagnosed as a narcissist Good to see I'm not the only one with low standards."

"The fastest way to find out if your wife is just pretending to be asleep to avoid sex is to pick up her phone and start scrolling."