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Joke of the Day

"What happens to the losers of the tv show The Biggest Loser? They're made to feel like the smallest person in the world."

"Are we sure this new planet isn't just Pluto wearing a wig?"

"What did the cannibal do when he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped"

"I joined a poker tournament with a bunch of people who do origami. I'm gonna dominate, cause these guys always fold."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Ethiopian and full of milk. (I'm so sorry)"

"When I get calls from unknown numbers I panic, decline and then wait for the voicemail like I'm about to be murdered."

"My wife says I was wasted last night and honestly I don't think she's buying my story about having to be naked to guard the neighbors porch."

"What was the black guys reaction to the 3/5ths compromise? I can't even"

"SRS bait. How many feminists does to take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. She stands with the bulb and the world revolves around her."

"I can explain the casting for Thor. Norse mythology describes him as a ""hauntingly beautiful blonde lady"""