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Joke of the Day
"What do black men do after sex? 15 years to life."
Next Joke
"What woman say right before they kill you: Wow. Fine. Whatever. No problem. I'm not mad. Nothing's wrong. Sure, stay friends with your ex."
"Why did the Udon noodles stop drinking? They wanted to be Soba... I heard that a few days ago and wanted to share it."
"I thought my watch ran out of battery power... It scared me for a second."
"I don't have a high opinion about myself when I play PC games... It's my low self on Steam."
"What did the 40 year old pregnant lady say when her husband asked her ""why are you so upset"" ""I'm having a midwife crisis"""
"To the teenager that flipped me off for honking at you. Your phone is on top of your car."
"Children are like STD's you try hard not to get once you get them your life is ruined, your stuck with them and their a huge pain in the ass"
"Q: What do they use frozen band-aids for? A: Cold cuts."
"[suspecting Kyle is a werewolf] ME: Ive laid out all the good silverware for us tonight K: Its chips & salsa M: Aaand? *stabs chip w/ fork*"