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Joke of the Day

"My wife says I was wasted last night and honestly I don't think she's buying my story about having to be naked to guard the neighbors porch."

"I asked my grandma to get naked. It's my favourite juice drink."

"*Listening to red hot chili peppers* Me: You call that music? I can't even hear anything! Worker: Sir, stop putting produce to your ear."

"I knew I was going to jail when I yanked at the cop pants and they didn't tear away .."

"You don't realize just how eco-friendly clowns are until you think about how much they carpool."

"Bondage devotees trussed each other."

"What do you call someone who can't turn pancakes? A flip-flop."

"*returns four pounds of skirt steak to butcher* I'm sorry. This just doesn't fit me like I thought it would."

"""I'm going to lay right here in the doorway and give people a dumb look as they trip over me.""- Damned dog.... Could've been me though."

"There are many advantages of visiting Switzerland I mean, the flag itself is a big plus."