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Joke of the Day

"Why is star wars the most disgusting movie? Because its the most grossing."

"When life gives you lemons... Attempt to weaponize lemonade."

"What was Alex Rodriguez's last hit? Who gives a shit, he's finally done ruining the sport."

"What do you call a can after it completes college? A graduated cylinder."

"Liquor probably won't fix your problems... but it's worth a shot."

"Sexual intercourse: It's just wanking that's got out of hand."

"Did you hear the one about the dude who married an exhibitionist? He saw his wife flash before his eyes."

"Last year I was quite miserable and depressed, so I made it my new year's resolution to turn that around. Thanks 2016, you helped me achieve my goal and made me depressed and miserable."

"Knock, knock. Honey, have you finished taking pictures of yourself for facebook? Daddy needs to take a sh!t.."

"How do you get down off an elephant? You don't. You get down off a duck."