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Joke of the Day

"Liquor probably won't fix your problems... but it's worth a shot."

"Why don't rabbits make any noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls"

"What organ do only British people have? The Eng gland."

"I wrote a song about a tortilla Actually it's more of a wrap"

"[Dirty] Did you know pigeons die after they have sex? At least, the one I fucked did."

"How do you make an archaeologist mad? Give him a bloody tampon and ask him what period its from."

"Heard my ex tell one of his friends I was a stalker. Almost made me mad enough to come out of his closet and give him a piece of my mind."

"Every organisation is perfectly designed to get the results they are getting."

"ayo girl are you an unanswered email? bc you are stressing me tf out"

"The decision to not set back my clocks last fall is looking pretty good right now."