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Joke of the Day

"Last year I was quite miserable and depressed, so I made it my new year's resolution to turn that around. Thanks 2016, you helped me achieve my goal and made me depressed and miserable."

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"I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one."
"When is the best time to buy budgies ? When they're going cheap !"
"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot"
"Pissed off? Punch a wind chime and you'll feel better."
"A PS4 and an Xbox One got ran over Off in the distance, we hear the ambulance... WiiUWiiUWiiU"
"""I don't care how much you hate this person, I REALLY suggest you two be friends."" -Facebook"
"What is the definition of a Freudian slip? when you say one thing and mean a mother. Don't remember where I heard it. Haven't read it here yet."
"My Medical Emergency Contact is a girl from college who promised she'd pluck any stray hairs off my face if I slipped into a coma."
"One of my black friends told me this, and I didn't know if I should laugh: What do you call a black hitchhiker? Stranded"