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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: ""I heard you were extremely quick at math"" Me: ""yes, as a matter of fact I am"" Interviewer: ""Whats 14x27"" Me: ""49"" Interviewer: ""that's not even close"" me: ""yeah, but it was fast"""

"""A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes."""

"Why did the condom fly across the room? It was pissed off"

"confession time ""hogwarts"" is a super gross thing to name a school and as a child I kinda hoped it would get destroyed because of that"

"What Social Media site do the undead use? Tomblr."

"They needed three Back to the Future movies so they could cover life's three great concerns: one's birth, one's future legacy, and cowboy"

"Me: I like my coffee like I like my ex-wives. My buddy (rolling his eyes): Hot and black? Me: Bitter."

"Every morning I wake up and every morning there is no breakfast in bed. We have got to do something about this level of poverty!"

"Blondes What is a blondes favourite nursery rhyme? Humpme Dumpme."

"I was going to tell you a time-travel joke... ... but someone reposted it, so you will hear it then."