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Joke of the Day

"How do you get down off an elephant? You don't. You get down off a duck."

"What do you call a foreign born communist running for President? Ted Cruz"

"I had a near death experience and I saw heaven. There were people screaming and there was fire everywhere."

"What did the Hammerhead shark say to his buddies when he got laid? Nailed it."

"What did the book say to the librarian? Can I take you out?"

"When I said I missed you, I meant with a hammer"

"Very sick man asks the doctor, ""how long do I have?"" The doctor replies ""10."" ""10? 10 years? 10 months? 10 what?"" ""9...8...7..."""

"Two kids talking. One asks 'do you also pray before each meal'? The other responds : no, my mom knows how to cook."

"What does idk stand for? Literally everyone I ask doesn't know."

"I'd read a book written by the person who pushes the room service cart into people's hotel rooms."