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Joke of the Day

"If your Facebook picture is a photo of a sunset or something inanimate, I'll assume you have a dissociative identity disorder."

"What happened when the car took LSD? It went on a road trip and had an auto body experience!"

"Where does the president keep his armies? In his sleavies."

"Donald Trump is not a rapist. He's an ""alternative romantic."""

"Helped my son flush his betta fish today. He asked ""Dad, does God love bettas?"" & I said ""Dunno, son, ask him after we flush you."""

"What sexual position produces the ugliest children? I don't know, ask your mom."

"A gentleman is ... a man who gets out of the shower to take a pee"

"I cried when my dad chopped up onions onions was a good dog :c"

"A boy and his mother passed a cemetery. The boy saw a gravestone read 'Here lies an honest lawyer'. He said to his mother ""I thought Gandhi was cremated."""

"I'm starting my own Build-a-Bear type place except the kids make toys for other kids and it's in China."