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Joke of the Day

"Beer: When are you coming home. Me: Right away honey. See. Marriage works. Just choose the right wife."

"I was straining on the toilet this morning. ""Where's the fucking sieve?"" asked my wife."

"No point I'll go straight to the point, this all sentence is pointless"

"Yo Mama So Fat Yo mama so fat that her Schwarzschild radius equals 1 cm."

"A boy goes on holiday to Mexico and texts his mate saying ""Weather out here is just like your mother, 36 and hot"" His mate replies ""Weather back here is just like your sister, 16 and wet"""

"I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions."

"Me: Have you ever heard of the movie ""Constipation""? You: Um.. no Me: Thats because it hasn't come out yet!! lelelelelelelelelelelelololol"

"What gets harder the longer it stays in your mouth? Bubblegum"

"A girl asked me if I wanted to join her in yoga at 6 am I told her, ""namaste in bed""."

"If you still talk about it, you still care about it."