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Joke of the Day

"I was straining on the toilet this morning. ""Where's the fucking sieve?"" asked my wife."

"Running and Cars He who runs in front of car gets tired. He who runs behind car gets exhausted."

"My goal is to be just the right amount of crazy to make everyone else doubt their sanity."

"[Mary Magdalene, in bed with someone else after Jesus dies] Him: You said his name again."

"The other day some guy came up to me, called me a Blockhead and then proceeded to hit me with his rhythm stick... I though ""That just adds insult to Ian Dury."""

"I lost my job performing circumcisions I just couldn't cut it."

"Whenever I'm depressed, I go to the roof at night, watch the view, reminisce, look at the stars and be touched by the lord.... ..the land lord.."

"A man's wife died and he called wife's parents many times after some time Mother in Law: Stop calling. How many times we need to tell you that she died? Man: It pleases me to listen that she died."

"How does Snoop Dogg keep his shirts so white? BLE-YATCH!"

"Just clicked on an ad that said ""Free Albums Here"" But It linked to a download of a Nickelback album. Would have rather just gotten a virus."