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Joke of the Day

"A Jewish boy asks his Father... A Jewish boy asks his Father, ""Dad, can i have 50 pence please? His Father replies, ""40 pence! What do you want 30 pence for?"""

"the iPhone 8 won't even come with headphones you'll have to imagine you're listening to music"

"I asked Jesus what he did before he died He said ""Not much. I was just getting hammered and hanging out all day."""

"Planes are the bomb. Imagine the impact they had on 9/11"

"Attention fat vegans: Explain."

"""It's clear"" said the teacher ""That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?"" ""Well my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!"""

"How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it."

"A good woman is easy to find... You just have to go to the cemetery and dig one up."

"You know the times have changed... When Portugal leaves Brazil without taking any Gold."

"Just got a gift for my dog. I bought my dog a cute toy from the pet shop and she immediately broke it. I demanded my money back but the manager said they won't refund a dead hamster."