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Joke of the Day

"the iPhone 8 won't even come with headphones you'll have to imagine you're listening to music"

"A pirate walks into a bar... ...With a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says, ""Is that a steering wheel in your pants?"" The pirate says ""Arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"""

"Every time I approach girls they inexplicably shoot away from me. Can't say definitively if I have the force but... The correlation is strong with this one."

"Welcome to Starbucks how may I help you? ""Regular coffee with cream please"" That's $40, 5ml of unicorn tears, and 10 dragon scales. ""TEN?"""

"Why did God make four cheeks on the human body? He made an ass of the first two."

"A Chick, A 1% and A Black Guy walk into a Bar and ask: ""What time is the next debate?"""

"Happy Birthday Girlfrien. I didn't put the D because you'll get that later."

"If approached by a bear, you can play dead, or you can acknowledge the bear, say hello, and see what it needs. Have some decency"

"Mrs Saggy: Mrs Wrinkly tried to have a facelift last week. Mrs Baggy: Tried to? Mrs Saggy: Yes they couldn't find a crane strong enough to lift her face!"

"My laptop is so dumb. Every time it says ""Your password is incorrect"", I type in: ""incorrect"" and the silly thing still tells me the same thing."