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Joke of the Day

"You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked."

"How does Darth Vader like his milk? *Luke* warm"

"ME: so what do you do GUY: I'm an oral surgeon ME: *imagining him doing heart surgery with just his mouth* wow I bet you're a helluva kisser"

"Hey, people ""liking"" Walmart on Facebook - you OK?"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom ... because the ""p"" is silent"

"I was lost in the desert, out in the distance I thought I saw Nicki Minaj, when I ran up to her... She ended up being a Nicki Mirage"

"2 antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent."

"What does an egg say when its ""turnt up""? Omlet!"

"Did you hear that they upgraded the lighting system on the Goodyear blimp? Now they call it the LED zeppelin."

"What type of shoes does a pedophile wear? White Vans. Creds to a friend of mine :)"