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Joke of the Day

"I was so hungry this morning I almost ate a clock.... I didn't because it's time consuming. Also, I'd have to go back for seconds. I'm here all day.."

"I guess I now know what the Pope is giving up for lent."

"If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with two people is called a twosome... then I know why people call you handsome."

"What did the Father Buffalo say to his boy as he was leaving for college? Bi son (dangit, not sure how I tagged it dirty. Submitted on my phone through BaconReader)"

"What do you call a singing bottle of mustard? Celine Dijon"

"What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit? I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green."

"FREEKY BLONDE Blonde1- Hey can I have some of your shampoo? Blonde2- Yeah, why not use yours? Blonde1- Mine is for dry hair and I got it wet already"

"Bowlegged Pirate Did you hear about the bow legged pirate? Apparently he has C legs"

"Why are bodybuilders the best the best partners? Because with them it always works out."

"You can lead whore to water... But you can't make her sink...easily."