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Joke of the Day

"What did the Father Buffalo say to his boy as he was leaving for college? Bi son (dangit, not sure how I tagged it dirty. Submitted on my phone through BaconReader)"

"Sometimes I wish real world conversation had a 140 character limit."

"Two muffins are sitting in a hot oven. Two muffins are sitting in a hot over. The first muffin sighs and says, ""gosh, it's so hot in here."" ""The second muffin exclaims, ""Ahh, a talking muffin!"""

"A guy waved at me and ran over the other day... He said ""oh sorry I thought you were someone else!"" I said, ""I am"" -Demetri Martin"

"My niece was in the hospital getting treatment for leukemia. She asked me if I'd visit her when she got out. I said ""Nah, I really hate cemeteries."""

"I remember Daddy told me fairy tales can come true so any time an old lady offers me an apple or cookie I kill her and bury her in the woods"

"If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?"

"Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life? Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything."

"The best part about pooping with the bathroom door open in the morning is being able to see everyones face at Starbucks."

"That new film, The Finest Hours, looks really good the plot looks very submerging"