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Joke of the Day

"What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit? I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green."

"Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The wedding was good, but the RECEPTION was great!"

"Haiku to the cheating girlfriend A haiku is five, then seven then five again, but who cares you whore"

"What do you call a cow that masturbates? Beef jerky."

"What's white and washes your socks? Your wife."

"2nd Rule of Parent Club: If your kid suddenly says ""I think I'd better wash my hands"", don't question them. I repeat, DO NOT QUESTION THEM."

"A walk in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact that I'm dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant"

"What is the difference between the hot girl at work and the one at home? You can assign tasks to the first kind!"

"This is probably the best idea I've had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid"

"I hate people who take drugs. Like customs officers."