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Joke of the Day

"What do you call unpredictable nudity? Erratica."

"My mom recently bought a Jesus shaped flashlight When I asked her why she said: So whenever someone says ""I can't see"" I can be like ""here, let Jesus light the path"""

"I don't hate my job. I just really enjoy curling up in a ball and sobbing under a blanket in the backseat of my car during lunch."

"Today there was an explosion in my kitchen... I combined pasta with antipasta."

"Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same movie roles. You know what they say about old habits."

"Babies are like new tattoos They are yours forever, but you should probably hold off posting pictures for a bit until they aren't raw and weird looking anymore."

"This season of Game of Thrones set new records for Piracy Probably because it's written by George Arrrrr Arrrrr Martin"

"What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist."

"Q: What do you get when you cross a poisonous snake with a horse? A: I dunno, but if it bites you, you can ride it to the hospital!"

"I hate when I tell my girlfriend to call me when she's feeling sensible and then 2 years go by before I realize I'm probably single."