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Joke of the Day
"Today there was an explosion in my kitchen... I combined pasta with antipasta."
Next Joke
"My new Toyota is going to be in a new movie . . . Just a small part. It's just a Camryo."
"I don't like my computer memory. Not one bit."
"Learning to love yourself is important. Just don't let your wife catch you doing it."
"*rubs temples* security guard: Hey you! Stop touching the historic buildings at this ancient religious site!!"
"Well... I like to think of it this way if we survived two fantastic 4 movies we could survive Ragnarok and hey we did good job world"
"They should come out with a CSI Atlanta, with an all black cast. But each episode would be about finding who murdered the English language."
"""Homie don't fleek doe,"" I say to a group of teenagers, hoping it means something."
"Why did the doctor toss his patient down a well? He tried to kill them."
"I did something terrible today Now I have to wait a year before I can post it to /r/tifu"