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Joke of the Day
"I hate when people post lyrics from songs, but I will survive."
Next Joke
"What do you call an attractive zombie? Drop dead gore-geous!"
"Being a judge incorporates my two favorite things: wearing a robe and judging people. I missed my calling."
"Um, I'm not ""complaining"" of chest pains *glares at paramedic* don't make this heart attack sound bratty"
"When writing your calculus exam, make sure you don't sit between twins. Because you might not be able to differentiate between them."
"What cut of beef was Lady Gaga's meat dress made from? Skirt steak. Forgive me."
"How is a banana peel on the sidewalk like music? If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat."
"What's the definition of gross? Two vampires fighting over a used tampon"
"Did you hear the joke about the Dutch speaking farmer? Nevermind. It doesn't transplant well."
"Them: We're concerned about you. We think you're a Black Widow [offers me cake & coffee] Me: No thanks. I'm trying not to eat between males"