36680

Joke of the Day

"Being a judge incorporates my two favorite things: wearing a robe and judging people. I missed my calling."

"Never try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other."

"In dog beers, I've only had one ..."

"What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer? Chelsea Clinton"

"Knock knock . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Come in"

"When I refer to old relatives passing away I never say ""RIP"" because I don't wants them to rest. I want them to Zumba."

"My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker... ...so I told her to roll them tighter."

"I hate when I accidentally say ""I love you"" instead of ""I'm biologically driven to want to reproduce with you & I'm temporarily delusional"""

"If you can't afford to get your wisdom teeth removed... Try crystal meth, it really is a miracle drug. *disclaimer: may remove more teeth than expected."

"My girlfriend started complaining about my lack of interest in her family. So I dated her sister.."