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Joke of the Day

"Um, I'm not ""complaining"" of chest pains *glares at paramedic* don't make this heart attack sound bratty"

"I was on a first date. ""How many women have you slept with?"" she asked. I said, ""Do you want me to round it to the nearest ten?"" ""Oh, I say. Go on then."" she laughed. I said, ""0."""

"The Energizer Bunny is starting a career in porn... They put his batteries in backwards and he keeps coming and coming and coming."

"Grandfather joke ""Call me Grand-pa-pa"" ""Why two pa's?"" ""Because it's the 21st century you homophobic bastard child."""

"It was just yesterday where it was a requirement to say grace before every meal... Now the only importance before a meal is making sure you get glamour shot for instagram."

"Does the KKK still exist? Yeah, they just changed their name to the LAPD..."

"Did you hear that they are building massive oscillating blades in New York? I wasn't a big fan of the idea"

"If God made anything better than pussy he kept it for himself."

"What's the difference between a pun and a dad joke? A pun can make you groan, but a dad joke goes even father."

"(NSFW) A blind man walks past a fish market and exclaims ""Hellooo Ladies"""