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Joke of the Day

"Um, I'm not ""complaining"" of chest pains *glares at paramedic* don't make this heart attack sound bratty"

"What's it called when an Asian man gives his best friend head? A bro job."

"Vegetarian Club I met a girl that said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but i had never met herbivore."

"Where do weirdos ride their bicycles? Psycho-paths. (as told by one of my coworkers)"

"A prisoner got out of his cell. Warden : Close all the exits. after 10 minutes the prisoner escaped Warden : How the hell did he escaped? Guard : He went through the entrance."

"Why did the termite eat a sofa and two chairs? It had a suite tooth."

"[junkyard dog barking viciously and running directly at me] Me: Wow he must really want me to pet him"

"What's a Lumberjack's favorite drink? A lager"

"If there were such a thing as beavers that were small and live in people's circulatory systems, what would be their religion? Embolism."

"Women think they are smart for faking orgasm Men fake whole relationships just to get sex."