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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear the joke about the Dutch speaking farmer? Nevermind. It doesn't transplant well."
Next Joke
"My wife is gone for the next 3 days, so if any ladies out there want to come over & yell at me to take out the garbage & not have sex, hmu"
"What do you call a drunk dinosaur? A Staggersaurus."
"Dear Redditors, I do not mean to sound slutty, but you can use me whenever you want. Sincerely, Grammar"
"How many ""friend zoned"" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw."
"Know why vodka is so clear? Its so Russians can tell it isn't tap water."
"Why do women forget if you call them beautiful 100 times but remember if you call them ugly once? Elephants have good memory"
"Interviewer: Tell me about your future plans. Me: You mean, like, just tomorrow, or for, like, the whole weekend?"
"Someone just asked me to fax them my email address. Careful driving folks, these people walk amongst us..."
"The Duracell Bunny was in deep trouble... He just got charged with battery"