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Joke of the Day

"What cut of beef was Lady Gaga's meat dress made from? Skirt steak. Forgive me."

"I like my men like I like my coffee shops. Clean. Smells nice. Free wi-fi."

"Elliot Ness, Cookie Monster, and John Locke start a law firm. Locke Ness Monster."

"What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan"

"Comeback Joke * nerds phone rings in class * Cool Guy - awww, was that your mommy? * whole class laughs * Nerd Guy - nope, it was yours. * whole class is silent *"

"What do you call a black woman in space? An astronaut, you douchebag."

"If you think I'm flirting with you, I'm just being friendly. If you think I'm weird and I make you uncomfortable, I'm flirting with you."

"Slim walked into his local post office and noticed a new sign on the wall: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY IN MONTANA ""Gosh!"" he said ""If n only that job was in Texas Ah'd take it!"""

"What did the shoe say about the customer who didn't like that it had yellow shoestring? That's lacist."

"Teach a man to build a fire and he'll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for a lifetime."