3830

Joke of the Day

"Hey babies, I can do 12 push-ups. Impressed? Doap. Typo, meant babes. Impressed? No? Oh. Well then. Impressed babies?"

"What do you call a retard covered in water? Flame retardant"

"How does an abortion doctor like his eggs? Scrambled."

"A man approaches a prostitute ""how much for a blow job?"" ""$30"" ""Can you do 20?"" ""sure"" ""Great here's $600"""

"My wife is scrolling through Netflix to see what shows I watched between now and when she asked me to vacuum. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit."

"This, being a gentleman thing really works. Women just fall for me when I offer them my handkerchief. Sure it's dabbed in chloroform..."

"What do you call a Snorlax that wants to win a race? A cab."

"Did you hear about the guys who stole Ar off the periodic table? They Argon and got away."

"Why do women have legs? Have you seen the mess that snails make?"

"What does Neil Patrick Harris call his toilet? His Dookie Houser"