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Joke of the Day

"A man approaches a prostitute ""how much for a blow job?"" ""$30"" ""Can you do 20?"" ""sure"" ""Great here's $600"""

"What's the difference between the lavatory and the cemetery? No difference - when you gotta go, you gotta go!"

"Did you hear about the guy who went for the world fapping record? He almost pulled it off."

"People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face."

"I got so drunk last night i blew chunks! Chunks is my dogs name."

"What is 19 cm long, pink and my girlfriend screams when i put it in her mouth? her abortion"

"Me: Show me a pan that didn't get clean the first time and I will show you a pan that needs to soak.. Wife: STOP TWEETING AND WASH THE PAN!"

"I just got early access to the new Injustice: Mods among us."

"Why do Computer Scientists always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because OCT 31 = DEC 25!"

"fog machine I was pissed off yesterday. So pissed off I threw my fog machine out the window. Something must have went wrong, because it misted."