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Joke of the Day

"A man approaches a prostitute ""how much for a blow job?"" ""$30"" ""Can you do 20?"" ""sure"" ""Great here's $600"""

"What do you call a fake friend? a faux!"

"How many suh dudes does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it's already lit fam."

"[meeting with boss] ""I need you to go back and fix something that broke yesterday."" ""I DON'T EVEN HAVE A TIME MACHINE!"""

"He stole my heart, so I stole his last name. Is the slogan of a very famous body parts and new ID shop in Mexico."

"Welcome to Chili's here's your dirty fork, don't forget to spit on our hostess on the way out."

"""I forgot my phone, so what do u want to talk about?"" ... *knocks on stall wall* ""Hello? Can u hear me?"" ... ""I like your shoes...Hello?"" .."

"I had a racing snail... To make him more aero-dynamic I took off its shell. If anything it made him more sluggish"

"""Can I help you find something?"" I'm looking for the perfect diamond for my wife that says ""sorry I cheated on you in your dream last nite"""

"You kick one baby and everyone's like ""That's not a football"" and ""He's not breathing, call 911."" Draaaaaama."