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Joke of the Day

"GOOD COP: Give us a name! PERP: Never! TED TALK COP: Imagine a world where every single human has- PERP: Okay I'll talk, please just stop!"

"Hey girl, do you like trucks? Cause I got a semi."

"[GOP Debate] MODERATOR: this question is for Senator Cruz. How will you handle zodiackillersayswhat? CRUZ: what? MODERATOR: I knew it!"

"A polar bear walks into a bar Sez, ""l'll take a gin .... [ ] .... ..... and tonic."" Bartender sez, ""Why the big pause""?"

"Me: Tell me about your weekend. Bob: Why? You never ask. Me: I find your voice acts like a laxative. Bob: That's disgus- Me: It worked! Bye."

"How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb? It doesn't matter, they all turn them the the wrong way."

"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit The Frog's fingers."

"I invented a new word! Plagiarism."

"What is the most well educated type of nut? Macademia."

"Your house is too dirty if you see bugs with little suitcases leaving it."